I’m thinking I’m going to go back to the city after New Years. I thought being home would make me feel better but it just isn’t. At least in San Francisco I seem to able to get my artwork done and walk places without having highschool kids yell “faggot” at me from their trucks. And when my brain, stomach and heart feel like they’re exploding simultaneously, nobody can talk, my partner included. It’s kind of dumb, but I’ve been wondering why that paul baribeau song has been stuck in my head so much, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I really do need to learn how to be alone without being lonely and how to be lonely without losing my mind. I feel so much more capable when I’m around just one or two other people who just want to dick around and create things and being alone for periods of time like these makes my mind and hands feel stagnant.